Being in the present moment is something that has so often eluded me. As a mom of 4 kids and a full-time career woman, any free time I had was spent cooking, cleaning up, doing homework with the kids, and scraping to grab a few minutes late at night alone with my husband. Nothing in my day included me, restoring or nourishing me on any level, and many nights I would simply fall into bed, exhausted and spent.

What I’ve come to know about being in the present moment is that the present moment is all we have. The past is complete and the future is still up for grabs, so putting our attention and energy there is a moot point.

This really hit home for me last April when I was with one of my dearest friends and soul sisters, Lynn Getz. Lynn had just had a birthday, and after many attempts to try to get together (she was in Portland, Oregon and I was on the other coast, in Charlotte, North Carolina), we finally landed some dates on our calendars to be together.

During our time together, something began stirring in me.  Lynn was profound in her speaking and sharing and this trip was no different.  Twice while at Joshua Tree, Lynn said she could feel the wind through her heart.  It was an unusual phrase, but I simply thought it was another euphemism from Lynn and I wasn’t fully aware of any deeper meaning in her sharing. She also kept trying to gift me with things, but this time, they were her belongings…her coat, her silk scarf, a necklace.  I politely refused. But deep inside, the stirring grew louder.

We completed our adventure in California and then hopped on a plane to Arizona. Due to luggage issues and traffic, we arrived in Cornville (near Sedona) very late. Our first night, neither of us slept hardly at all. We were staying in a small cottage where the classes were being held. We shared a bathroom and kitchen but we each had our own bedroom.  Throughout the night, we both heard funny noises.  We laughed, but we were also a little scared. Imaginations can do amazing things.

As we did many times before when rooming together, we settled into a routine that was comfortable and nourishing…up early in the morning to shower and head out for a clean juice and a healthy breakfast. Back just in time for class, where we had the privilege of dousing ourselves and others with the beautiful aroma of pure essential oils. And then out for a healthy dinner. Night time was then ‘our’ time to drink tea, connect, share, and laugh. And boy did we laugh. 

Lynn and I first met while we were students in this same advanced class five years earlier, so it was very fitting that we were here together supporting the owners in teaching the class. It was a love and a bond that we deeply shared and which connected us on an intimate soul level.

Throughout the week, Lynn and I continued to hear unusual noises and feel energies around us. We are both very intuitive, so it felt very real to us. On Wednesday evening (the third day of class), Lynn and I made a promise to each other, that if we got scared at night, we would join the other in her room. That’s how freaked out we began to feel!

Each day and night became a little more ‘off’. Neither of us was sleeping well, but we were grateful to be there together.  Thursday was a most unusual day. We didn’t follow any of our usual routines (we skipped the juice and breakfast). Toward the end of class, one of the owners asked the class to share what their experience was during a meditation we had. Lynn was always so thoughtful and intentional in what she shared, but this time she chose not to share.  That was very strange, as Lynn’s sharings were always so profound.  The stirrings continued, but I wasn’t putting the pieces together.

In keeping with the theme of unusual, we abandoned our normal healthy dinner when Lynn declared she wanted a cheeseburger and fries! In the years I have known her, I didn’t even know she ate meat. I rarely do either, so I was shocked but totally up for the adventure. I called one of the owners to ask where the closest burger joint was and she could only laugh.

 We had a wonderful dinner at a local diner and then headed back to the cottage around 9 pm. Lynn was adamant about doing a meditation for one of the owner’s husband, who had been quite ill. We set up the main room with candles and crystals and began a long meditation. At points in the mediation, the physical energy was so strong that I had to lie down. I have never experienced this before, so I asked Lynn if she was comfortable with me lying down.  She was.  I started sensing this immense ‘tug of war’ going on, and because we were doing the mediation on behalf of our friend, I surmised that it was the energy of our friend, fighting the physical and spiritual planes of whether to leave the planet or stay.

Two hours into the mediation, Lynn jumped up and said it was complete. I started to make tea as per our usual routine and she said she didn’t want any.  As I stepped into the kitchen, I noticed loads of moths outside the kitchen window. Wow – how strange! I had been in that cottage many times over the years and never saw insects swarm like that, let alone all on one window.

Lynn and I got ready for bed and as I headed into my room, she said another unusual thing.  She said “Jen, come here and give me a hug”. I complied, walking over and we hugged for quite a long time.

I entered my room and was finishing up some work when I heard Lynn’s voice call out to me. She said “Jen, are you asleep?” I answered, “No, I am just finishing up a few things. Is my light bothering you?” She replied “No, not at all. Have a good rest.”

I turned off my light and was knocked out. About 20 minutes later, I bolted upright, completely startled and terrified. I felt as if the face of a person was looking right at me! I turned on my light and started praying. I prayed like I have never prayed before. I doused myself with essential oils and prayed some more. It felt as if I prayed for hours, but in hindsight, I think it was about 45 minutes. A sad and strange thing about that is that I didn’t follow through on the promise that Lynn and I made earlier in the week – to go to each other’s room if we were scared.

Eventually I fell back asleep. About 2 hours later, I again bolted upright and started praying. I was physically shaking.  I was so scared. I looked over by the window and noticed a single moth there. So much adrenaline was rushing through my body. This cycle went on throughout the entire night.

When my alarm went off at 6 am, I noticed Lynn’s door was cracked open. Again, unusual because we both closed our doors when we went to bed. I peeked in and saw she was still sleeping, so I got into the shower and dressed. She must have had a bad night too, I thought. I pondered about whether or not I should wake her to come with me to breakfast.  I quickly realized how mad at me she would be if I let her sleep in and folks started arriving to class with her in her pajamas.  I chuckled to myself as I opened her door and walked up to her. A strange sensation came over me when I noticed her lips were blue.  I started to panic. As I touched her shoulder to wake her, I discovered she was cold to the touch.  I panicked.  No, no, no, no!  How can this be?  We were just together celebrating her birthday and finally, finally found time on our calendars to spend time together. I ran to get the owners, hyperventilating and trying to make sense of the past 10 days and what was unfolding before me. Students started coming to class. I was sobbing. No, Lynn, you can’t do this. We had so many things planned together.  Classes, retreats, going on a trip with our daughters together. You are not supposed to leave.  Not now. I need you. You are my teacher and guide and friend.  Silence…

For many months, the shock and trauma of spending such deep healing time together and then losing my dear friend unexpectedly crushed my soul. My head kept going back to the past. All of our conversations now made some sense. Lynn was trying to tell me that she would be leaving, but I wasn’t fully present. I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I tried bargaining, wanting to reverse time so I could be more present with her in her journey.  But it was too late.  Lynn was gone.  My deep soul connection to this beautiful woman had ended on earth.  It took many months for me to reconcile myself to this loss, but, with meditation and attention on the deep heart connection we shared, I now experience our relationship as stronger than ever.

The other day, I was out for a walk and I looked up. There in the deep blue sky was a gorgeous bald eagle, soaring with such ease and grace. I hadn’t seen a live bald eagle in 20 years. This one followed me for about 10 minutes.  I finally stopped and had the presence of mind to ask the eagle if it had a message for me. I heard Lynn’s voice answer, “Yes, my dear. Don’t forget to look up. That’s where the magic is”. My response, “Yes indeed, my sweet friend.  You are magic.  I am magic.  I love you.”

Welcome to the present moment. This is where the magic is!

I am dedicating this blog, called The Magnolia Scrolls, to my dear friend, Lynn Getz. Magnolia Blossom was her favorite essential oil, and each time I smell it I can feel Lynn’s beautiful presence.  From the depth of my being, I surrender to her beauty and grace and I continue to be inspired by her teachings and her writings.. Aho!,